失眠的夜

現在是淩晨4點了~~
待會兒9點還有課，我把燈関了，卻難以入眠。。。
不曉得爲什麽。。可能是心煩吧。。
我把眼睛閉上的那一殺那，腦海就不斷地在轉。。。好多好多的東西浮現~

我也不曉得爲什麽今晚特別的感性=.=
就一直在想一堆有的沒的。。。
想到以前中學的日子，想到以前的自己，想到一些人，有聯絡的沒聯絡的~
也想到現在，未來 ~ 好像想太多太遠了對嗎？呵呵
其實也不吧~ 都快20了（好像說得有點太老的感覺=.=）
雖然20不老~ 但是不是也是應該想想自己的方向呢？
爲人處世，是不是也應該改改呢？
對事情的看法，也應該換個角度了。。

其實，我真的不喜歡這段時間的自己。。感覺，是那麽的‘假’~
‘假’，我也不清楚應不應該用這個形容詞。。。反正，這不是原來的我就對了~
我的改變，讓我把大家的距離遠了。。
現在的我，真的不知道要怎麽樣跟大家相處~
我跟身邊的人關係，好像越來越差。。
這絕對不是我想要的。。。但是很無奈的。。
這已經是事實。。。改變了，就囘不了頭了~

人，是自私的對嗎？我也希望我可以自私一些~
多愛自己一些~
其實我很矛盾，說我不自私嗎？其實我覺得我絕對是個自私的人~
在我的心靈深處，我是希望我的付出可以得到回報~
只是，我從不會開口要求。。對任何事情，都一樣~
我不喜歡她的想法。。爲什麽？可能因爲那是一個我不願意承認的事實吧~

她，
給我的感覺是那麽地愛面子，
那麽地斤斤計較，
那麽地不信任我，
很多時候，我覺得她的譴責，都是爲了自己的面子。。。
但是，有些事實是無法改變的。。
我無法變成她所想要的，我只能盡我能力，不做你討厭的。。。

其實，我看不見我的未來。。。
到現在，我都還是得過且過的過日子。。
責任感也沒有。。
答應了的工作，卻一拖再拖。。
讀書不像爲了自己而讀。。
工作只為了有更多的錢花。。
目標？零。。。
以後的工作？沒想。。。
對事情，都保持三分鐘熱度~
我的未來，我真的沒把握。。

有時候我在想。。
很多時候，都是我在很努力地在維持我們的關係。。
如果哪天，我不那麽做了。。
我們的關係，會退到什麽位置。。
如果，我不主動了。。
那麽。。我身邊剩下的，會是什麽？
我知道，我不應該有這樣的想法。。
這個想法，只會讓我失去所有。。

該執著的，不要放手。。
不應該的，就讓它去吧。。
什麽是值得，什麽是應該，什麽是對的。。
應該理智地分析。。
不要被情感蓋過了理智。。
20嵗前，那叫單純
20嵗后，那叫傻

要學會，努力一些。。
要學會，勤勞一些。。
要學會，圓滑一些。。
要學會，理智一些。。
要學會，自私一些。。
要學會，更有毅力。。
要學會，想得更遠。。
要學會，更負責任。。
要學會，更愛自己一些。。

聼過一句話嗎？
每天多愛自己一些。

沒有什麽，比自己更重要的。。
爲了自己，
設定一些目標。。。
努力朝自己的目標前進，不再得過且過。。
讓自己過得更好！



Wish List :
1）半年時間，減掉5公斤以上（不太折磨自己吧><）
2）做好freelance 的每樣工作 ！！
3）21嵗畢業！
4）找份有興趣的工作！
5）22嵗給自己買個名牌包！
6）23嵗一個人出國！
7）24嵗努力存錢（目標 RM30,000）！
8）25嵗用自己的錢買車！
9）26嵗-買了車，養傷中=.=
10）27嵗- 沒想到=.=

寫完了。。。睡意來了~
現在是早上六點鈡。。。
晚安了。。。各位親愛的^^

The Lame

yes ~ as title ~ this blogspot is about all of you ~

how this group form ? people come and go ~

and 9 of us stil stick togather in a gang ~

seriously i felt myself is the lucky one ~

many colleger told me , ur secondary friend will be your life friend

because in college is impossible to get true friend ~

study the same course in the same college so that you guys can became friend ..

but that also mean that you guys wil be enemy after graduate .. thats y people say that 'true friend' will never appear in ur college life..

but im lucky ~ i found a gang in my college , and its not only 1 , but 8 !

how lucky im ? many of my secondary scol fren say to me

: wow , why you so gd have a gang of friend in college ? a gang of friend that can talk , can hangout togather ..

they got friend , but just really is college friend .. only talk at college , only talk abt assign , group work ..

never chitchat , never hang out...

so you know how proud am i ? how happy am i ? how lucky a i ?

i don't how whether you guys have the same feeling with me ..

nowadays ... many problem appear between us .. i feel it and i know it ..

i don't know you guys wan to break everythings here .. or want to repair the relationship between us ...

friendship problem .. i met alot .. and i tired with it ..

Sook - im so sorry if i said somethings heavy that day ... but seriously , i cant understand you.. i dont understand what make you sooo unhappy , what for you to spoil everythings we planned for you.. and you know i hate this .. why don't you just say out the reason so that we can understand you ? emo also please let us kmow the reason ... hide everythings inside , no one can know what are you thinking~

wailing - i noe nowadays you angry me too , just because of the fucking 120 job .. do you felt that is worth for you to angry ? and i don understand the reason you angry.. just because sook take the job ?? i noe you angry me because i tell u i not working but i take the job at the end .. i take the job because sook , she want to work.. and i noe that is because she wan somebody to pass 12 with her .. so i take the job.. you angry i din pass the job to you .. i ask you before i ask sook .. because i noe you need money , but you got transport problem.. how i hold the job for you ? im just working , im not the boss , u say u wan take the job 1st den onli you find a transport , how if til last min u stil cant get transport ? you must understand .. this is a job , we must responsible for all of tis ,i cant take the risk ..i hope you will understand ...

car - about the job , i know you also angry with it .. because i din ask you at all~! but that is because i noe its a nite job .. u cant take it .. what for i ask you ? i noe you need money too.. if got job that is suitable for you sure i ask ... like the flyers job , i noe that convenience for you .. beside this , i know you felt that we oways ignore you ... i admit it ! we sometime really wil 忽略 you.. a gang of fren , 9 person , its impossible for me to take care everyone , you must also put some effort .. u oways silent behind , no one wil understand you .. i cant guess ur mind , im not the worm inside ur stomach, 你不可能奢望我們每次討論東西都一個一個問，你主動，我們不可能不理你的。。誰有意見就自己提出來，我們不也是這樣，把自己的意見提出來，不是非得要別人問你，才可以提出你的意見。。。談天的時候也一樣~ 覺得什麽問題就提出來，不要收在心裏面。。我們不會知道你在想什麽的~

syeli - i felt sorry to you too...你是我們裏面最沒意見的人，也因此，我們容易忽略了你。。而你，也沒說什麽。。看過你部落格裏面的一篇文章。。看了以後。。我内疚了。。因爲我們真的忽略了你。。沒什麽想說的~真的只想跟你說- 對不起

shanay - 我其實沒什麽要說的~ 你是一個很好很好的朋友。。你很關心大家，很注重大家。。只是太過直率的性格，偶爾可能會讓人吃不消。。

其實，一開始我就應該用華語來完成這篇文章。。。可是到了中間我才想起，所以就轉用華語了。。每次有問題。。我們都囘不了了之~ 時間過了~就算了。。可是問題還在。。永遠沒有去解決。。。問題就越來越多~ 永無止境地一大堆問題~

友情問題~ 我真的遇過很多~ 朋友來了又走， 剛開始~ 我真的很不能接受。。我真的很傷心~後來~ 慢慢看透了~ 想開了~ 地球在轉。。。每個人都會改變。。。 你們的想法。。我很清楚。。因爲我曾經也有過。。很多問題。。其實都是自己把事情想得太複雜。。。然後再把想法受在心裏面。。心裏的刺插得越來越深。。。友情~ 就這樣慢慢的 ~ 消失 ~

十個手指有長短，九個人的團體，每個人的性格都不同。。怎麽可能沒有偏心的問題 ？ 一定出現 A-B 感情比較好，C-D 感情比較不好~ 這是很正常的~ 如果介意，就說出來，不要放在心裏面。。。

我自己有什麽問題。。我不知道。。你們在背後埋怨。。我會知道嗎？我不知道那我就不會改。。那我永遠都是這樣。。這樣的友情。。可以維持多久？　對你們～也一樣～　今天。。我把所有的問題說出來～　是因爲我還希望。。我們可以儅永遠的朋友。。。　我不希望你們只是我大學的過客。。

還是那一句話：不要猜測別人的心，除非你有１００％的了解　

所以你也不要把問題收在心裏面。。。奢望我們知道你的想法。。然後跟著你希望的去改變～

還有一個人

Z ~ 我知道，你也有收在心裏的埋怨。。我承認。。其實跟你真的沒有很熟。。 除了學校以外。。我們不會有任何的聯絡。。任何的話題。。。 我不是一個主動的人。。我不會上MSN找朋友聊天。。也不會主動打電話找朋友聊天。。但是。。在我心裏，你真的是一個很好的朋友~ 我一樣不希望你只是我大學的過客~ 我知道你也是外表開心的人。。如果你希望得到朋友的關心。。。偶爾把心理的話說出來吧~

我要說的就是這麽多了~

還是那句

我真的很開心~ 擁有你們~

[Happy B'day] Special Guest ❤

yoohoo !! the only one b'day post here ^^

normally my b'day post (i mean character post) i will updated at WRETCH~

but i upload this special guest here ^^ just because he is ~ EVANYO^^

yea ^^ its 1112 !! its my dear evan BIG BIG DAY!! how can i don't update a post for him ？？

even thought im freaking tired + sleepy (i just back from work)~

but i stil never forgot ur b'day !! hiak hiak ~

so ~ since its a character post !! lets me show u more abt EVANYO❤



the handsome EVAN ❤



the stupid EVAN ❤



the smart EVAN ❤



the sunshine Evan ❤



the botak Evan ❤

http://www.facebook.com/evanyo

中文名：蔡旻佑

英文名：Evan Yo

生日：11月12日

星座：天蠍座

血型：A

身高：177 cm

體重：66 kg

個性：神秘/ 體貼/ 大方

怪癖：喜歡脫衣服的感覺

學歷：光仁國小音樂班/ 古亭國小音樂班/ 師大附中國中部音樂班/ 師大附中高中部音樂班/ 師大音樂系

家中成員：爸爸/ 媽媽/ 哥哥/ 妹妹

擅長樂器（專長）：小提琴/ 鋼琴/ 吉他

興趣：音樂/ 電影/ 幻想/ 觀察/ 體驗/ 放空

入行經過：參加電台歌唱比賽年度冠軍

欣賞的藝人：王力宏/ 周杰倫/ 范曉萱/ Joanna Wang/ Avril Lavigne/ Shia Labeouf/ Greenday

喜歡的運動：游泳

喜歡的活動：海灘的一切

喜歡的季節：冬天(乾燥出大太陽)

最喜歡的電影：變形金剛/ 天外奇蹟

愛吃的食物：牛排/ 牛肉麵/ 雞肉飯/ 垃圾食物/ 綠花椰菜

愛喝的飲料：冰牛奶/ 冰可樂/ 冰薏仁湯/ 冰比利時啤酒

喜歡的動物：無味狗/ Kevin - the Snipe

喜歡的顏色：藍

喜歡身體的哪個部分：萬能的雙手

最想做的事：出國留學/ 做音樂給全世界的人聽…太多了一言難盡！

最怕的東西：複雜

最想合作的明星：Avril Lavigne/ Shia Labeouf

最刺激的經驗：笑傲飛鷹

出道前曾做過的工作：補習班工讀生/ 小提琴家教

EVAN FULL PROFILE ❤





his album ❤ (ps: STONGLY RECOMMENDED!!! GO AND GET EACH OF IT!!)



the you and ME!!! ❤



my uncomplete artwork !!❤ hiak hiak !!



my collection ❤ (1 more just get it haven snap picture ><)

AND!! DANG DANG DANG DANG~~~~~~



a b'day wish for me from YOU !!!❤

even though is myself request for it !! but i still very happy wit it ^^

thx so so so much ~

I ❤ EVANYO !!

again !!

HAPPY B'Day To You

生日快樂

Selamat Hari Jadi

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

[untitle] The Day cuming soon ?

yes~ wat the day ? end of world ? of coz nop~

i rather end of world ~ i cant wait for 2012 le ~

'world war' happen again~ use to it...i tot..

but not really...

the problem are getting serious~

tis is not the 1st time my tear drop for the problem~

i got the feeling~ 'the day' are so near to me~

i just hope tat , the day onli came after i graduate ...

so tat i can run away from all of tis~

im not cold blood with tis~ i actually feel sad wit tis~ really really sad~

but i can do nothing ~ i got no tat brave to solve the problem~

tis is not me ~ my feeling will never show out ~ never expose to others ~

onli myself noe who i am , onli myself not wat am i thinking~

i noe both of you sad with it...

both of u got ur own problem , own thinking ~

i noe someone owayz cry for this too~

im so sorry ~ i cant do anythings for u ~

i juz can try my best to be good wit u all ~

try my best to listen to u~

thats all i can do~

im not sure wat the ending will be~

but is 'the day' really came~

i wil decide to run away ~

[B'day Trip] A-famosa

a very very very early plan ~
we plan this one month ago~its my suggestion ^^ hiak hiak~
and my plan was actually PD, because really feel like going beach..
but what they said was right too , there got nothing can do during afternoon,
the sun is too big...
so we change abit our original plan ..

Mr Tx suggested to A-famosa , he said there got some promotion and only 20++ needed
for water park .. so we planned our plan as PD at the morning then switch to
A-famosa after the sun came out..

After comfirm everythings , we actually planned to blow cake at von house before depart to PD , but there are some communication problem =.= so at the end we meet at petrol station and blow cake over there=.=

3 cars and 11 members included, we depart at around 530 and reach Pd at around 7... the god must be kidding with me !! once we reach the beach the sky start to turn black and rain...we wait for a while and the rain getting heavy.. so we just cancel the Beach walk , find a place sit down and have our breakfast ..

Depart from Pd at around 8++ and we reach A-famosa at around 9++, the rain is the 1st incident , and now is the 2nd incident , tx's gf and me was period , how we gonna play water park ??

so at the all they decided to gave up water park and switch to safari , which is wild park ! i actually not really feel wan to get in safari , because its sound so boring ..seriously... just a zoo..what so fun ? doesn't worth we pay for it ??

and okiez..the park is not really fun actually ,but we have alot of fun there..
we kacao around the animal , take photo , talk rubbish , walk around..
its stil not bad , much more better den my expect^^

especially when we visit to the chicken farm , there was so many little chick , and we are able to feed them but have to pay rm 5 for the 'foods'^^ we kacao inside for a long time..non-stop being stupid inside .. they really cute !! love them !! hehe~

We having lunch after that , onli two choices for us =.= curry chicken & chicken rendang~ A-famosa have a sucks food court !! wahaha~
monkey garden after lunch .. those monkey damn ganas !! advise here , don near to monkey if u holding somethings !! haha~ they keep rampas our things =.= and Ms jing is soooo lucky !! she kena 'jackpot' on her head ~~BUSUK!!! wahaha~

Beside than animal visit , we watch a cow boy show too.. its soo damn boring =.= plus all of us was actually damn sleepy and tired.. and i slept the whole show !! pro me !! wahaha~ spend our half day at A-famosa , we leave at around 6.

We back to Puchong to enjoy our dinner , their favourite location - Shabu-shabu !
we divide into to table because there is too les seat , pity mr potato have to sit at couple table wit the 2 couple~ haha~ Ms Jing n Mr Mice damn pro !! they eat non-stop =.= eat til the last min we left ~

End our one day trip at puchong , i bring the wrong way on the way back =.= i really cant recognize puchong 's way =.= reach home at 10++.. its really tired .. but i enjoy the day so much~ once again .. happi b'day my dear Ms Von^^

[Ungroup] Funny Day

yea i need to update my blog~

because there is some stupid and funny things happened~

i should start from a 'Dinner'=.=

received a message from Mr Dannis and Mr Mice for dinner..
i was so lazy to drive at the beginning~ but i still went to fetch them>< wahaha
im too kind !!and funny things happened~~

We decided to dinner at Happy-happy ,and my plan was went home after dinner.
And we received a message from Mr Potato ask for tea..
but he stil at bangi and he ask us go find him,and of cause we din't because
i was the driver and everyone knows that,i can't drive too late><

Mr Potato ask us wait him at somewhr and we decided to Nasa because nearby my house^^
and its easier for him to fetch me if i have to drive the car back...
Rain come after we order, we finish our drink in flying speed and back to my home to wait Mr potato... of cause i will shoot by my mami if i bring 2 guys back==

so we decided date Mr jing go my house togather^^ Mr Jing sure felt like being kidnap~!wahaha!!We wait wait wait at my house,FB,Youtube blabla.....and we received a message from Mr Potato 'im tired,not cuming join you guys'...

so means what?? GG.com~ its impossible for me to fetch them back at the time,
im sure killing by my mami if i do that,what to do?? We called everyone that possible
to come and get us out and fetch them back...but stil fail~ everyone ignore us!! wahaha!!and we alwayz relise we got not much friend at this kind of situation!! wahaha!!

So~end up~all overnight at my house,order mcd breakfast at 4am, cook maggie mee in double pack,Mr Mice and Mr Dannis kacao around our hair,do every rubbish things and we decided to watch some movie 'street dance' after bored for a long time..the movie consider so so~~ i stil prefer step up^^and sleep at 6somethings in the morning^^

DING DONG~ its time to wake up~! its almost 9 and my mami was awake~ she woke all of us up!! wahaha!! and we walk to jing house to get car 1st before we going to have our breakfast~Mr jing sacrifice her 'dim sam' and go eat mamak with us~! touch neh!! wahaha~

Mr jing send us home after that and i slept at home for the whole day~!! drama-sleep-drama-sleep~! that my life^^ hehe~ and not really feel to blog the things happened today^^ so just forgot it~and~i was super tired now~! nitez all my dear^^

member included :
Ms Jing
Mr Dannis
Mr Mice

[Gathering] Steambot

PHEW~

what a tired day~!!

morning broga~nap for awhile~den mami ask me go my kai ma house c baby~den chit-chating there until evening,back home pack things den go swim alone^^finish swim back home wait Mr Jing come fetch us go cowcow's house steambot^^

Million sorry for late><~hehe~don blame us><~! wakaka~We reach there already 930 and the time they set was actually 730~so mean that we late for two hours~! wahaha~
nevermind la>< wait xia leng lui ma!! wakaka~

not much choice when we wanna start our meal~ just stick with few type that we love~and don't know why~feel full eventhough i just ate abit><~

ops forgot mention~those who are couple all bring partner~ Mr sinki and Mr Desmond~so there was two 'sook lui'~because they was really 'silent'~and we bring 'sai' that we are too noisy~

Of cause must have some exercise after eat~and our favourite exercise that never touch for a long time 'dry swim'~! wahaha~ but i felt so sleepy after few round i played>< not in the mood~ so switch to jing and i disturb around~

go in go out~ talk rubbish laugh lik siao and doing rubbish things~! wahaha~too lame~because no one want to play with me>< no activity no entertainment~ so lets me entertain you all !! wahaha~

TIMES UP~! its 1230~ and Ms von have to back home early because have to work at the next day~so we went home early^^ and Mr sinki also left after we left~


another busy and tired day~drink some alcohol and 2 exercise make me sooooooo sleepy now~~ its time to sleep^^ nitez^^

Member Included♥
Broga - Mr Janko
Mr Nic
Ms Wailing
Steambot - Mr Cow
Mr Desmond+GF
Mr King
Mr Syao
Mr Naima
Mr Osama
Mr Sinki+Gf
Ms Jing
Ms Von
Mr Woon (aeroplane king!!)